Right In The Clown's Mouth

I've returned home for the week and have had some time to rest. I arrived in River Falls around 6:30 am, Monday morning. After my round on Sunday I started driving and didn't stop until Black River Falls, WI. I pulled over, parked in a hotel parking lot, and took a nap. I originally planned on staying overnight at my brother's in Chicago, but after being on the road for three weeks I really wanted to sleep in my bed.

Most of you probably saw how I finished in Pittsburgh; in case you didn't here's a link to my scorecard. I shot a one over par 73, which included two 3-putts for bogies and two 2-putts for birdies. I nearly made eagle on #17 after hitting a very high and soft 3-wood within 20 feet of the hole. Then on number #7 I crushed a driver and a 3-wood to reach a 615 yard par-5 in two (and the wind was not helping). I two putted from 50 feet for that birdie.

After the weekend, I felt very good about my game. I felt very comfortable and confident over putts inside of 10 feet. My putts were rolling smooth and I received compliments from my playing competitors about my putting stroke. Another good thing to take from last week was the way I hit my 3-wood; it is usually a weakness in my game. However, I found myself hitting a 3-wood on every par-5 and hitting it where I wanted to.

Some bad things about the weekend were my double bogies. I have to stop making double bogies because they really take a bite out of a round. I also need to stop the 3-putts. Despite putting well on Sunday I still had two 3-putts. The greens were very difficult and the pin locations made it possible to 3-putt, but I pride myself on my ability to lag putt so I hope to improve on that next time.

Finally, I have some fun quotes to share. While on the course on Sunday one of my competitors had his dad caddying. I don't think the dad is a very good golfer (or a good caddy), but he certainly was a good cheer leader. He talk to every shot that his son hit. Whether he said, "Go!" or, "One time ball, come on!!" he was always talking. Some of the things he said were very entertaining so I'll pass them onto you. I think his main goal was to keep his son's energy up, but we're playing golf not hockey. I'll call the caddy Bozo, and you'll soon find out why.

Quotes from Bozo the Clown and other golfers



1. Son asks Bozo in regards to a 5-foot putt for par, "Do you see anything?" Bozo replies, "Yeah, I see something...I see right in the fu#*%?g clown's mouth!" (his son made the putt otherwise we might have heard this.


2. Son hits a punch shot from the trees that is heading towards the green and Bozo yells, "Oh what a golf shot. Go in the hole...one time today." The ball came up 20 yards short in a green side bunker. It was a good shot considering how far from the green the son was, but once the ball fell in the bunker, Bozo was upset that it wasn't in the hole.


3. Another player hits his shot on a par-3. As soon as it lands his wife (who's caddying for him) shouts, "Whoa.....Stop rolling." Immediately after the caddy/wife begins asking for the ball to stop the player interrupts and barks, "No, GO! I don't want the ball up there....Keep rolling." The caddy/wife sheepishly picked up the bag and stormed up the cart path. I'm sure she felt embarrassed, but I also got the feeling that she would be berating her husband after the round for making her sound so stupid.

That's all for now. I leave on Sunday for another three week trip. I'll be in North Carolina for two weeks and Virginia for one.

Neil